I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Randomize
