New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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