That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
