Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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