The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
