who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
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