The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
