Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize
