wanna go halves on a baby?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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