the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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