Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
He's a Shit stain on my heart
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
