You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
this hospital has no fireball
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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