Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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