i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
