guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Send help, water and tortillas.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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