We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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