Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
no, he came in my armpit
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
