He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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