Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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