Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize
