she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Randomize
