I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Randomize
