Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
Don't tell me you're on acid again
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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