Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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