Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
The air was thick with penises
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Randomize
