I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
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