My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
