I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
