Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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