Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
