I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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