Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
