Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
