I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
Randomize
