i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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