Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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