some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
Randomize
