I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
What's dad's email?
[email protected]
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
