Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Life is so much better after having sex.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
At least life still wants to fuck me.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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