you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
