Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
