He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Randomize
