If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
