I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
