Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Whatever my ex gf's roomates talked shit about me so I jizzed in their shampoo bottle one night
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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