It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Randomize
