So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
