So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
im six kinds of drunk right now
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
