I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
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