there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
