every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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