What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
