I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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