Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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