My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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