how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
