Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just had sex on a roof
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
