The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
