Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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