I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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