were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
